Untitled Untitled Sunny Out

I'm doing it and you cannot stop me
After a much needed absence I am returning

creepinthecellar.blogspot.com

fuck yeah

-wingfield

Say Goodbye To Hollywood

This is it
Cue up the exit music
I now bid a fond farewell to the blog world
It was a long time coming and I havent posted in ages anyway.

So goodbye readers and friends
I hope that somewhere in this series of blogs or in the previous Fitter Happier section, you found something amusing or interesting

thank you

*one final guitar solo*

signing off for good.

-Wingfield

The Rear View Mirror Diaries

No matter how hard I seem to try I always end up leaving oversized gaps between my posts. My last one was November the 8th I believe. Some sort of political rave and or rant. Nothing new or exciting for that matter. I have a new job, which is sucking more life out of me than Rundles did, which is almost unthinkable..un-thinkable....un think-able....how does that go?. oh well. However, I am rolling in the Benjamins as it were. Or perhaps more accurately the MacDonalds and or the Elizabeth the seconds. On the down side I have nothing to spend it on which is in turn forcing me to save it.
Save it for what?
for new years thats what

Christmas will be here shortly and gone just as fast
However!!!!!11111oneoneoneoneelevenonehundredandeleven
New years is going to be an extra large event for me
because chances are it will be my only real time off. I am thinking a good old fashioned 3 day bender....Care to join me Blake? Liam?

I realize this makes me sound like an alchoholic or immature or an immature alchoholic, but seriously. I really need this.
Christ.

And now to my next point
Hot chicks with douchebags
Is to be read in a none literal sense. Basically this website is devoted to pictures of wonderful attractive women who are in relationships with various long curly locks, washboard abs, fast car, camo short wearing asshats.
In a perfect world there would not only be websites dedicated to "hot chicks" with everything from snowmen to starfish and all that is in between. but there would also be websites dedicated to "douchebags" with everything. Douchebags with guitars, Douchebags with beer, Douchebags with animals, Douchebags with other Douchebags.
For all I know there could be sites like these already. If there are I salute who ever created them. Think about it. The best of both worlds. Attractive women that men find appealing. And various douchebags that we would all like to throw from a moving train.

Cheers to douchebags
for making the rest of us seem a little bit cooler

*guitar solo*

-wingfield.

A Capillary Hint Of Red

Television is a very interesting thing.

When Television was first becoming popular it was black and white, few channels, news, cartoons, the bare minimum. The family gathered around the TV for the evening news. All was well and the people were informed.

My oh my how things have changed

I am looking at my TV right now. It is turned off. Toshiba. It has a VCR built right in. How about that. i have somewhere around 58 channels or so. full colour. news, weather, cartoons, music, reality, food, movies, damn near anything can be found in this magical box of small pixels.

I do not watch much TV, but last night I was watching the cbc, good television that cbc. Anyway, it was a commercial session the usual commercials passed through the screen. Natural male enhancement, the new hedley album, law and order on at 8. And then!!!

The conservative party dropped the fucking gloves. Stephane Dion, (thats pronounced steff-anne)....Yes we all know it would be funnier if his name was pronounced otherwise and sometimes i wish it were

ANYWAY!
Dion flashed across the screen, hands in the arm, jaw open. He looked like he was about to cry. The quote beside him read "do you think its easy to make priorities?". Apparently that is one of his fresh coined phrases. There was a narration in the back ground speaking of how Dion is a bad leader, bad politician, so on and so forth.

I knew at once this would be the work of the conservative party. I am not going to lie, they did pretty good. They really made Dion look like a total fool and a terrible person. It just seems a little harsh, but I suppose thats the way things have to be in politics. It can only get worse from here. I can see it now. Toronto star, front page.

"CONSERVATIVES TO LIBERALS: GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

I say we all get together and agree they settle it like men

Harper and Dion can have a boxing match. Last man standing runs the show. The NDP and the Green Party can act as the judges because no one really votes for them anyway. People that do, do it because they dont want to have to hate themselves forever by voting for Harper or Dion.

It would be on every news station available. Worldwide broadcast. Pay per view. No holds barred. David vs. Goliath. I dont think I can make myself any clearer.

That all sounded ridiculous didn't it? But if it happend, You would watch it, and you know you would. Perch in front of the TV and tune right in

Safe
Secure
Millions of little pixels creating wonderful pictures for you to see

Good ol' TV.
So where does TV go from here
I suppose they will keep getting bigger and better
Bringing us more news than ever before
Not to mention all sorts of dirt on various politicians.

Hell
Here's to television
for continuing to tell us who to vote for, how much better our lives would be if we drank bud light and what kind of car to buy. All in less than a minute and a half. God damn God damn.

Cheers!

*guitar solo*

-telefield

New Orders On The Turntable

Conrad Black
Bold man
born....some time ago in montreal

Now I am sure you all know the deal with him and his crimes and so on and so forth.

HOWEVER. Black was recently found guilty of 3 counts of fraud and one count of obsruction of justice.

Now, even for a powerful man like Conrad these 4 charges could do some serious damage to him. Currently Mr. Black is sitting in palm beach waiting for sentencing while his lawyers work around the clock.
why?
to find a loop hole thats why.

They now have something to work with. Black's lawyers and Black himself have been speaking to the press saying that the evidence displayed on the trial was more in favour of his innocence.
So the only way for him to get off the hook here is a new trial.
how does he get that?
he cheats the system.

This evening on CBC newsworld two stout middle aged women who happend to be sitting on the jury in Black's trial spoke of the events in the courtroom.

Now.
As I assume you all know. Speaking publicaly of courtroom events witnessed as a member of the jury is restricted. Yet it happend anyway.
And what is the most common result of this action?
The guilty party demands and almost always gets.
A new god damn trial.

NOW!
Call me crazy but think of it this way
-conrad lost
-he doesnt want to get screwed
-therefore he wants a new trial
-best way to get a new trial?
-on a technicality
-two women go on tv and speak of trial
-Black now demands a new trial


I smell a big steaming bowl of bribary. Do remember however, that I am insane and question everything, making this idea probably completely nuts.
But if I am right
My god Conrad
you are a bigger crook than Nixon.

In my mind the cruelest punishment for Black would be to stick him in a government housing unit alone and force him to work as a garbage man. It would crush him in days.

and now I take my leave. My thumb hurts, I cut it at work. I work at giant tiger now. Isn't that bizzare.

here's to the squandering of money and the fat old men that do it so so well.

*guitar solo*



-Confield

Wingfield Version 2.0

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